From the size of our paycheck to the size of our house; there are common male insecurities we worry about that really aren’t that important.
That thing that’s keeping you up at night? There’s a good chance women really don’t care about it.
In this article, we list 10 common male insecurities and show you how to deal with them.
Yes – some women care only about how much money you have. But for most women, fixation with cash is a turn-off. Your ambition and hobbies matter more.
Insecurity #1 You Don’t Make Enough Money
A 2014 study by Pew Research Center shows that people generally stay within their socioeconomic status when choosing a mate.
Most women are looking for a financial equal, not a sugar daddy.
They want men who are willing to treat them fairly and equitably — and can make sure that the romantic spark keeps burning.
Trying to pay for everything is seen as trying to dominate the woman (she has her own money). Successful men don’t need to flaunt their wealth.
Expensive gifts make women feel inadequate and like they are getting paid to spend time with a guy – or worse still – that they owe him something.
Insecurity #2 Your Muscles Aren’t Big Enough
Muscles – or lack of them – are one of the most common male insecurities. We all think big muscles will impress women – but you don’t have to have a six-pack to be attractive.
Guys who are obsessed with building muscles and are always at the gym prioritize this over everything – including women – and women know this.
A study published in the American Journal of Psychology asked men and women to rate various male body types. The men chose a body that was, on average, 28lbs more muscular than their bodies.
The women overwhelmingly preferred a man who looked very much like an actual average man in their country.
Many guys hit the gym hard because they’re lacking in some aspect of their romantic life and think this is the solution to their problems. A toned physique is attractive, but you have to stir up some emotion within her to GAIN a woman’s attraction. Feats of athleticism will IMPRESS women but not necessarily bring long-term interest.
Captivating a woman through conversation and body language will have far more consistent results than having big muscles.
Insecurity #3 Your Penis Is Too Small
Let’s address the elephant in the room. Among the most common male insecurities is the size of our penises. A tiny pecker is an insult between us. Claiming to be a big boy can be seen as synonymous with masculinity (though it shouldn’t be and isn’t).
The evidence contradicts that, though – it doesn’t matter to women. UCLA found that a solid 84% of women don’t mind the size.
Furthermore, a 2015 study out of the Public Library of Science discovered that many women only associate large penis sizes with one-night stands. They preferred more ‘average’ sizes in long-term partners.
So, stop worrying!
Insecurity #4 You’re Not Working 100 Hour Weeks
Some men work a 100-hour week and boast about this like a badge of honor. A woman IS looking for you to be passionate about your job, and it’s good to like what you do, but women want a work/life balance. If you’re spending all your time at the office, you will have no time for a relationship.
Insecurity #5 You’re Not An “Alpha Male”
Pick Up Artists have popularized this term recently – an alpha male is supposedly dominant in every way, can seduce any woman, and never shows vulnerability. Ideals many men aspire to – unfortunately for them; women don’t see it that way.
Women associate the term ‘alpha male’ with an overprotective, stubborn, insecure, unintelligent, misogynistic man. They see him as a manipulator of women, only wanting them for one reason and often juggling more than one woman at a time.
A woman wants to feel protected but does not want aggressive, competitive men. They find this off-putting and even scary.
Don’t be cold. Showing emotion is not a sign of weakness.
Women would rather you be emotionally open than always act confident. It helps build a connection when you show vulnerability.
Women don’t expect a stoic, all-knowing kind of guy who never feels pain. They prefer intelligence, good work ethic, responsibility, self-sufficiency, and being kind, warm, and honest.
Insecurity #6 You’re Not Smart Enough
Coming across as inaccessibly bright can be off-putting to women. They do not want to feel inferior to you or that you are condescending to them.
Women want someone to talk to – to hold a conversation with – and to be able to teach each other new things. Don’t focus on intelligence – be interested and interesting.
Insecurity #7 You’re Too Short
Height isn’t nearly as important as most men think. If you make a big deal about the fact that she’s taller than you, you make her feel insecure about HER height…
Women find that many shorter guys are upset about their height and continually try and make up for their insecurities – by being loud, obnoxious, or hitting the gym too hard.
Be comfortable with your height – no amount of shouting or lifting weights will make you taller.
Insecurity #8 You’re Too Nervous
Don’t get insecure about your insecurities. Of course, we all want to come off as cool and collected, but nerves are a universal human experience – 99% of women will respond with empathy and the few who won’t aren’t worth the heartache.
A lot of women take nerves as a GOOD sign – they mean you CARE. So don’t sweat a little sweating! If a particular worry is throwing you off your game, communicate about it.
And in the meantime, here are some great ways to build your confidence when you are talking to women.
Insecurity #9 You’re Not Handsome Enough
Guys often ask the question, “Do looks matter?” Men tend to judge women by their standards – and men are more superficial than women. Men judge women based on their appearance, whereas women tend to look for a deeper connection.
Women are not as concerned by your physical appearance as you are by theirs.
Many women may be put off by handsome men because they can feel insecure around them and because they think there’s more of a chance of that man being unfaithful to them.
Women want guys who can make them laugh, act confidently around them and communicate effectively with them.
Being irresistible to women isn’t always about your looks!
Insecurity #10 You Don’t Drive A Supercar
Having transportation is nice, but that’s all it is. When you pull up in a nice car, a woman is impressed temporarily. But it won’t keep her interest.
Researchers from the University of Michigan found that when a man spends his cash on possessions like a flash car, women see this as a sign that he’s more interested in a short-term sexual relationship than romantic commitment. As men, we spend too much time worrying about stuff that isn’t even relevant at the end of the day. Yes, some factors matter, but not as much as we build them up in our heads.
source: Originally published in https://www.realmenrealstyle.com