Depression, you again depression! You sneak in like a thief, Stealing some of my joy and peace and hope, Leaving only grief. You wrap yourself around me, A heavy cloak of blue, Dragging me down to the depths, Where I cannot break through.
Your darkness seeps in like a creeping vine, Wrapping its tendrils around my mind, Choking the light, drowning out the sun, Till all that’s left is a heavy heart, undone. The weight of the world is on my shoulders, And I cannot seem to shake it off, It’s a never-ending cycle of pain, And I’m trapped in this eternal suffocating cough.
The tears flow like rivers down my cheeks, As I scream out in silent despair, No one can hear me, no one can see, That I’m suffocating, gasping for air. In this abyss of darkness, I am alone, With nothing but my thoughts and fears, And I cannot find a way out, So I sit here, lost in my tears.
You make me doubt my worth, And question all I do, You tell me lies and whispers, That I am not worth pursuing. But I know I am strong, And I will fight this war, I will not let you defeat me, Depression, I am more.
Anxiety is a normal emotion that everyone feels at one point or another. But for some people, anxiety can be more than just a feeling; it can be a debilitating condition that affects their day-to-day lives. If you think your child may be suffering from anxiety, there are a few things you can do to help them cope.
Encourage Them to Talk about Their Feelings
One of the best things you can do for a child with anxiety is to encourage them to talk about their feelings. This will help them understand and manage their emotions better. It’s also a good way to bond with your child and build trust.
Make Sure They Get Enough Sleep
Another important thing you can do is make sure your child is getting enough sleep. Children need at least 10 hours of sleep every night in order to function properly. A lack of sleep can exacerbate anxiety and make it more difficult for children to concentrate and learn.
Create structure and routine
Kids with anxiety often feel out of control and uncertain about what’s going to happen next. Creating a daily schedule and sticking to it as much as possible can help ease their anxious thoughts.
Be there for them
Just listening to your child and being supportive can go a long way in helping them feel better about their anxiety. Let them know that you understand and that you’re there for them no matter what.
When stress affects your brain and its many nerve connections, the rest of the body is affected as well. Alternatively, if your body feels better, so will your mind. Exercise and other forms of physical activity release endorphins, which are chemicals in the brain that work as natural painkillers. They also enhance sleep quality, which decreases stress.
Exercise is important for maintaining mental health and can help alleviate stress. According to research, it is particularly good in reducing tiredness, increasing alertness and attention, and improving general cognitive performance. This is especially useful if anxiety has sapped your energy or ability to focus.
Regular exercise, according to some research, works as well as medicine for some people in reducing feelings of anxiety and depression, and the results can be long-lasting. A strenuous exercise session can help relieve symptoms for hours, and a regular plan can help lessen them significantly over time.
Here are some excises to do if you are burdened with anxiety
Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) for anxiety
Progressive muscle relaxation aims to show your brain what it feels like for your muscles to be relaxed and tension-free. Make yourself at ease in a seated position before beginning PMR. Flex each major muscle group for 10 seconds, then release for 10 seconds, beginning at the tips of your toes and working your way up. Continue to the next muscle group, flexing for 10 seconds and then releasing for 10 seconds.
Square breathing exercises for anxiety
Square breathing helps to balance the levels of oxygen and carbon dioxide in our bodies, which can go out of balance when we are anxious. Breathing in, holding the breath, exhaling, and holding it again for four counts each is square breathing.
Repeat the cycle for a few minutes. This anxiety reduction technique improves relaxation and better thinking, which aids in the resetting of emotional peaks.
The result, like other types of therapy, might vary: some individuals may respond well, others may feel it has no influence on their mood, and some may only have a minor short-term gain. Nonetheless, studies believe that the benefits of exercise on physical and mental health are undeniable and that people should be encouraged to be physically active.
People with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) often struggle with frequent and intense symptoms of anxiety. These strong symptoms of anxiety often lead people with PTSD to rely on unhealthy ways of coping, such as through drug or alcohol use.1
Fortunately, there are a number of healthy ways of coping with anxiety. These strategies may help reduce the intensity of anxiety, lessen its frequency, and/or make it more tolerable.
Deep Breathing
It may sound silly, but many people do not breathe properly. Natural breathing involves your diaphragm, a large muscle in your abdomen. When you breathe in, your belly should expand. When you breathe out, your belly should fall.
Over time, people forget how to breathe this way and instead use their chest and shoulders. This causes short and shallow breaths, which can increase stress and anxiety.
Fortunately, it is quite possible to re-learn how to breathe deeply from your diaphragm and help protect yourself from stress.2 Practice simple deep breathing exercises to improve your breathing and combat anxiety.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Using relaxation exercises can be an effective way to reduce your stress and anxiety.3Progressive muscle relaxation focuses on alternating between tensing and relaxing different muscle groups throughout the body. This relaxation method is similar to a pendulum. Complete relaxation of your muscles can be obtained by first going to the other extreme (that is, by tensing your muscles).
In addition, by tensing your muscles (a common symptom of anxiety) and immediately relaxing them, the symptom of muscle tension may become a signal to relax over time.4
Your mind will never improve by chance, you must keep it in shape, like a muscle – it must be worked positively, nourished and rested often.
And, your life long quest is to remain vigilant to what you let enter into it. That is, if you wish to live with reduced anxiety, stress and self-imposed limitations.
Of course, we all have bouts of anxiety and burdening stress-levels, from time to time, it’s part of life. Many people weather the storm and calmer moments eventually come.
But it’s a scary fact, that today, nearly 40 million Americans live with an anxiety disorder, which is more than the occasional worry or fear.
Anxiety disorders can range from a generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), which is intense worrying that you can’t control, to panic disorder. Such as sudden episodes of fear, along with heart palpitations, trembling, shaking, or sweating.
For those with an anxiety disorder, it’s important to look into strategies that can help manage or reduce anxiety in the long term, such as therapy or medication.
However, everyone can benefit from other ways to reduce stress and anxiety with lifestyle changes such as eating a well-balanced diet, limiting alcohol and caffeine, plus taking time-out for yourself.
Give these 10 simple steps a read through and file them for a rainy day. They are proven to relax your mind and help you regain control of your thoughts. Pick one strategy at a time and see if it suits you.
After all, life is a continuous journey of discovering what works and discarding the stuff that serves no purpose.
1. Stay in your time zone.
Anxiety is a future-oriented state of mind. So instead of worrying about what’s going to happen, ‘reel yourself back to the present,’ says Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of Freeing Yourself from Anxiety. Ask yourself: What’s happening right now? Am I safe? Is there something I need to do right now? If not, make an “appointment” to check in with yourself later in the day to revisit your worries so those distant scenarios don’t throw you off track, she says.
2. Relabel what’s happening.
Panic attacks can often make you feel like you’re dying or having a heart attack. Remind yourself: ‘I’m having a panic attack, but it’s harmless, it’s temporary, and there’s nothing I need to do,’ Chansky says. Plus, keep in mind it really is the opposite of a sign of impending death – your body is activating its fight-or-flight response, the system that’s going to keep you alive, she says.
3. Fact-check your thoughts.
People with anxiety often fixate on worst-case scenarios, Chansky says. To combat these worries, think about how realistic they are. Say you’re nervous about a big presentation at work. Rather than think, ‘I’m going to bomb,’ for example, say, ‘I’m nervous, but I’m prepared. Some things will go well, and some may not,’ she suggests. Getting into a pattern of rethinking your fears helps train your brain to come up with a rational way to deal with your anxious thoughts.
4. Breathe in and out.
Deep breathing helps you calm down. While you may have heard about specific breathing exercises, you don’t need to worry about counting out a certain number of breaths, Chansky says. Instead just focus on evenly inhaling and exhaling. This will help slow down and re-centre your mind, she says.
5. Follow the 3-3-3 rule.
Look around you and name three things you see. Then, name three sounds you hear. Finally, move three parts of your body – your ankle, fingers, or arm. Whenever you feel your brain going 100 miles per hour, this mental trick can help centre your mind, bringing you back to the present moment, Chansky says.
6. Just do something.
Stand up, take a walk, clear away things on your desk – any action that interrupts your train of thought helps you regain a sense of control.
7. Stand up straight.
‘When we are anxious, we protect our upper body – where our heart and lungs are located – by hunching over,’ Chansky says. For an immediate physical antidote to this natural reaction, pull your shoulders back, stand or sit with your feet apart, and open your chest. This helps your body start to sense that it’s back in control, she says.
8. Stay away from sugar.
It’s tempting to reach for something sweet when you’re stressed, but that chocolate bar can do more harm than good; research shows eating too much sugar can worsen anxious feelings. Instead of reaching into the biscuit tin, drink a glass of water or eat protein, Chansky says, this will provide a slow energy your body can use to recover.
Social anxiety activities are those things you can do to challenge your anxiety. Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is estimated to affect around 12% of the population at some point in their lives.1 People with SAD suffer in all areas of their lives; they have trouble making friends and maintaining friendships, finding life partners, finding work and building a career, and even getting through the mundane aspects of daily life.
Social anxiety disorder can be seriously debilitating, and the best treatment approach involves combining cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and/or medication (such as SSRIs). But there is much that can be done through self-help to overcome social anxiety.2
The Best Online Therapy Programs We’ve tried, tested and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain.
Self-Help for Social Anxiety
Self-help strategies often draw on the effective components of more traditional treatment approaches. For example, self-help might incorporate aspects of relaxation, thought reprogramming, and exposure to feared situations.
Get Yourself Out There
If you suffer from mild to moderate social anxiety, you might just feel like you are in a rut most of the time. What is the best way to get out of a rut? Do something.
Although it can be tempting to avoid social and performance situations if you suffer from social anxiety disorder (SAD), it is important to get yourself out there. That means accepting invitations to go places and do things that make you uncomfortable. At the same time, you need to prepare yourself to properly handle being out there.
Ask for Help
Don’t wait until tomorrow or next week or the next time you are in crisis. Make an appointment today to see someone. If you are too embarrassed to call your doctor, consider contacting a mental health helpline such as the one offered by the National Alliance on Mental Illness to get you started. You might find talking to an anonymous stranger less intimidating and it could eventually lead to receiving the help you need. Just take the first step.
Your mind will never improve by chance, you must keep it in shape, like a muscle – it must be worked positively, nourished and rested often.
And, your life long quest is to remain vigilant to what you let enter into it. That is, if you wish to live with reduced anxiety, stress and self-imposed limitations.
Of course, we all have bouts of anxiety and burdening stress-levels, from time to time, it’s part of life. Many people weather the storm and calmer moments eventually come.
But it’s a scary fact, that today, nearly 40 million Americans live with an anxiety disorder, which is more than the occasional worry or fear.
Anxiety disorders can range from a generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), which is intense worrying that you can’t control, to panic disorder. Such as sudden episodes of fear, along with heart palpitations, trembling, shaking, or sweating.
For those with an anxiety disorder, it’s important to look into strategies that can help manage or reduce anxiety in the long term, such as therapy or medication.
However, everyone can benefit from other ways to reduce stress and anxiety with lifestyle changes such as eating a well-balanced diet, limiting alcohol and caffeine, plus taking time-out for yourself.
Give these 10 simple steps a read through and file them for a rainy day. They are proven to relax your mind and help you regain control of your thoughts. Pick one strategy at a time and see if it suits you.
After all, life is a continuous journey of discovering what works and discarding the stuff that serves no purpose.
1. Stay in your time zone.
Anxiety is a future-oriented state of mind. So instead of worrying about what’s going to happen, ‘reel yourself back to the present,’ says Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of Freeing Yourself from Anxiety. Ask yourself: What’s happening right now? Am I safe? Is there something I need to do right now? If not, make an “appointment” to check in with yourself later in the day to revisit your worries so those distant scenarios don’t throw you off track, she says.
Let me tell you a story from the Mahabharata, one of the most famous classical Indian epics.
At the beginning of this story, five princes, known as the Pandava, have been banished from their kingdom for 13 long years. These princes–Yudhishtira, Bheema, Arjuna, Nakula, and Sahadeva–are living in a forest, surviving on a meager living. They’ve been banished because Yudhishtira, although righteous, wise, and knowledgeable, also has a weakness for gambling, and in a game of dice with the Kauravas, another brotherhood of princes, has lost his kingdom and wealth.
Yudhishtira’s brothers and his wife are enraged. They seek justice for the injustice meted out to them by the Kauravas. But Yudhishtira calms them, reminding them that he lost the game fair and square.
One night, when everyone is asleep, Yudhishtira wakes up in torment. Although he’s managed to help his brothers and wife feel peaceful about their fate, he still feels a deep conflict within himself.
He goes out to seek solace from a Rishi, an enlightened saint, living nearby.
“Oh great Rishi,” he says to him, “I was once the Supreme King of this country! I was powerful! I have ruled my land fairly and righteously., but look what has happened to me now. Why is this happening only to me? What have I done to deserve this?”
Isn’t this familiar?
While Yudhishtira is conflicted over the loss of his kingdom, we, too, face conflicts both big and small that leave us thinking “why me? What should I do?” We reprimand ourselves, too: “If only I had done this or that, it would have made a difference.”
For example, a hardworking employee who’s up for a promotion but didn’t get it might think, “if only I’d made a better impression on my manager, I would have gotten it.” A student who didn’t get accepted into an Ivy League University might think, “if only I’d performed better in the interview, I would have gotten in.” Even when we lose a loved one to an illness, we might think “if only I’d paid more attention to their treatment, if only we’d sought a second or third opinion, this might not have happened.”
If you already take a daily multivitamin—add the following benefits to the list of reasons to maintaining the healthy habit: You’ll cut your stress, anxiety, and levels of fatigue, according to new research published in Psychosomatic Medicine. Researchers in the USA analysed eight studies of 1,300 adults taking a multivitamin supplement for at least 28 days, and found that people who took multivitamins for at least a month enjoyed a 65% and 68% reduction in stress and anxiety, respectively, and reported 73% less fatigue.
Getting ample quantities of vitamins and minerals improves the function of enzymes that regulate brain processes responsible for mood, and multivitamins provide additional nutrients beyond what you may be getting from your diet, researchers explain.
Taking multivitamins that supply high doses of B vitamins—some up to five times the recommended daily allowance—is more strongly associated with this mood bump, the study also noted. “B vitamins are used to convert food into energy, produce stress hormones, and help your nervous system function properly,” says registered dietitian Ilyse Schapiro. “That means even normal, everyday stress can deplete the body’s supply of Bs.”
When you don’t get enough vitamins, your body has to work harder to perform simple tasks, which can lead to fatigue and other health problems. Taking multivitamins and keeping a healthy lifestyle can keep you energetic and fit.
Low-dose one-a-day multi-vitamins offer insurance against nutritional deficiencies, but higher-dose products can help you rise above simply being “okay” to achieve optimum health. That may mean having more energy or less stress, or being more alert. Or, maybe it’s a sense of feeling better overall. “On any given day, if you fall short in one or more nutrients, you’ll fill that gap with a multivitamin,” says Duffy MacKay, ND, vice president, scientific and regulatory affairs at the Council for Responsible Nutrition and a naturopathic doctor in private practice. It would be impossible to guess whether you’re missing a B vitamin, or C, or a mineral, for example, so the multi covers your bases.
Hope Gillette is a freelance writer and published novelist. She’s passionate about providing accurate, empathetic mental health content for readers, and believes writing can help combat stigma and improve wellness outcomes.
Feeling overwhelmingly sad may be a natural reaction to loss. But what do you do when the emotion stops you in your tracks?
Loss is a unique experience. Not everyone goes through mourning and grief in the same way, and there’s no such thing as “grieving correctly.”
In fact, grief can take many different forms, from feelings of numbness to unstoppable tears. Some people go through five stages of loss, but other people have different experiences. Every reaction is unique and valid.
There’s no deadline for grieving. How long it takes you to process a loss depends on many factors. One of them could be the resources you have at hand. For example, your coping skills.
Grief usually refers to deep emotional sorrow resulting from a loss. However, it’s not always the loss of a loved one.
Losing a home or job, experiencing a natural disaster, or even witnessing someone you love go through a difficult time may cause you to grieve. For some people, the end of a romantic relationship may also lead to grieving.
Despite what some people may believe, grief and depression are not the same.
Depression is a formal mental health diagnosis with specific and identifiable criteria or symptoms.
In some cases, an unresolved grieving process could lead to symptoms of depression. But this is not always the case and depends on many factors.
Both grief and depression can involve feelings of sadness and hopelessness, but with grief, these are typically connected to a specific event or loss.
Symptoms of depression may also last longer and often require the support of a mental health professional to manage them, which is not usually the case with grieving.
Coping skills are those thoughts and actions you use to respond to events that may cause you distress. You have probably learned this along the way and from influence and experience.
These skills are conscious strategies you put in place to manage emotions such as anger, anxiety, fear, or sadness. They don’t necessarily resolve the situation, but you may find they help you manage how you feel.
For example, after a fight with your partner, you could practice meditation for 10 minutes or have a glass of wine.
Coping skills can be simple tactics you use in the moment as you feel your emotions rise. They can also be long-term strategies you focus on when you’re going through extended difficult periods, like when you’re grieving.
But not all coping skills help you relieve distress. Some may actually delay the process and some of them may put you or someone else’s safety in jeopardy.
Avoidant vs. active coping skills
When you experience grief, you may find yourself working with active or avoidant coping skills. It may depend on the situation or on how you’re used to managing distressing events.
Active coping means you try to directly address the source of your emotional pain with thoughts or actions that change the event itself or the way you look at it.
Avoidant coping skills are more about using strategies that take your mind or heart off the event.
For example, an active coping skill may be asking someone to help you solve a problem, while an avoidant coping skill could be alcohol use.
According to a 2016 studyTrusted Source, active coping mechanisms tend to be most effective when managing distress.
The goal of coping skills is often to reduce or endure the negative emotions and thoughts that may come with grief or about actively solving problems.
Positive reframing
Also known as “looking at the bright side,” positive reframing may feel challenging at first, particularly when grieving.
Reframing can be cognitive — focused on your thoughts, or emotional — focused on how you feel.
It’s natural to feel there are no positives in your loss. But with positive reframing, you’re not disregarding the importance of your loss. You’re focusing on appreciating those aspects that may still connect you with the person or event you lost.
For example, you may focus on good memories and lessons learned, or you could work on a tribute. These actions may reframe your grieving emotions and bring you temporary relief.
